Why me Geniffer, why me?

When i was 7 years old, my grandparents lived on an old farm in the Missouri outback. There weren't many other people nearby, the closest town was 1129.27 yards away from the backdoor of the upper level of their barn (rough estimate, sorry I can't be more precise :P XD. Anyway, when I was 15 I moved away from my home in Australia and made a new home in the Arctic. Because of this rapid transition in my youthful years, I now have a crippling fear of warmth. There's nothing that makes me more queezy than happiness, kill me. It ain't easy bein queezy ma brothazzs. All I want is to hibernate and then drift away in the river of bears. This is the end, I will be with the eagles, don't worry mum. Bye hoes.